Finding the Strength to Make the Journey

Making the journey of life as a transgender individual is a more difficult, more trying test of strength than can be imagined by most. Even as a transgender individual, feeling I may have had the omniscience of personal perspective,  I still find myself surprised by my own inability to fully visualize and forecast all of the stormy seas that have been encountered in the odyssey of my own life.  It is as unique as are the journeys each of us must travel individually as well.  The choice of a transgender individual, faced with the prospect of hiding who they are truly as they have known for their entire lives, is only a choice as to hiding and playing their lives as an act for others, or in coming to live honestly to themselves.   Unfortunately, we still find many in our society who would rather we spend a lifetime in a role of acting as a character in our own play that is our life, rather than to "thine own self be true".

Hiding who we are is only but an act and a persona we assume in the play of our own lives.  Eventually, the role can no longer be played and the truth is ultimately revealed.  Of course on the relevant Star Trek episode, "The Conscience of the King", at least Kirk gets to make out with a woman 22 minutes into the show in the process.


The message from this is one that is likely the most important, the most paramount of any.  It is the message that we are not alone and that we, none of us, should consider to bear the burdens and trials of our own lives alone.  As Odysseus faced each of his own trials and learned through his own mistakes in Homer's Odyssey, so must we each face our own and gather strength from victory over adversity.

It's so helpful, certainly to me personally, to realize and reaffirm that we are not alone in our personal strife and in the spirals of our occasional bouts with depression.  In being able to share, at some tangible level with the the journeys of others,  I find myself able to achieve my own "push" towards a positive direction which in turn helps me to have the strength to push myself forward and beyond.  I hope that others can find their own sense of inner strength to achieve the same.

We all need friends to help "push us in the right direction".  I'm not really sure STELLA is a good example however.....

The highly polarized dichotomy of having to deal with being transgender is truly more complex, more emotionally challenging then I could ever have envisioned. As others have experienced, so too have I found the ability to be on top of the world suddenly, and in an instant, find it as a free-fall into the deepest pit of self despair and sadness. I can see now how some discover this to be more than they can bear in their continued existence on this planet and so make the choice to discontinue it.  It is, apparently, common for many of us to feel this way.

Diversions, hobbies, and activities can all help but they do not necessarily quell the inner daemons which oft still pervade deeply within us. Strength comes from what we can do to support each other as much as it comes from the strength we must each find within ourselves. We learn so much too, about ourselves, through our interactions within others lives and in relating them to our own. Going this journey alone, isolated within ourselves, is but a simple recipe to a more menacing personal demise. Life is an amazing flight, if only we can see our way through the clouds and beyond to bluer skies.

Being able to face the daemons of our own lives... depression, death, loss and something we each must find a way to overcome.  These negative energies are always at our personal door, ready to confront and overpower us....   ...if we are not strong.

It amazes me to no end how much our society places emphasis on the ephemerality and transitory nature of the shell of the human body...especially some of the negative reactions when we attempt to change it to suit our inner soul. In the end, if the physicality is what others deem to define us, then can we ever, with those who hold that mindset, ever truly hope to aspire to be known for our spirituality and recognized by our soul?

Adversity will always exist in our lives.  There will always be those who do not live up to their own sense of what is perfectly acceptable and what is not to them.  If each person in this world would take the time to analyze and to deal with the problems which pervade their own lives rather than in taking that energy and denigrating others in their own, we would find our journeys through this world much easier as a result.

When a robot determines that they are, themselves, perfect.... and then decides to judge others fates based upon their own ideology of that self-assumed perfection, you know you have trouble on-board the Star Ship Enterprise.  The same thing applies in society here on Earth.

The journey of our own lives is a lifetime mission, to seek out and explore new personal goals and realms and to boldly go where others have not gone before.

And when times get tough, please reach for your friends.... and not for this stuff....
....unless you are trying to get some evil aliens off your ship....

Rule Number One:  Getting evil aliens drunk to subdue them: Always make sure to have enough Scotch.  Just don't plan to pilot your ship of life while drinking the stuff.  Trying to navigate the universe of your life is tough enough as it is. Do that SOBER!


( Can it scarcely be true then, that I really could learn and relate so many things in my own life from "Star Trek" and the 1956 movie, "Forbidden Planet"? )


  1. Christen, so nicely put. Hard do to sometimes, but worth the effort to try.


  2. Goodness. All those Star Trek references and no mention of Dr Janice Lester and "Turnabout Intruder"? The final episode of the original run and an episode featuring Kirk living as a woman, as a result of a transference. In my mind it seemed Kirk experienced a metamorphosis given the opportunity to experiences life as Janice. The episode spoke to me at the time but I was not sure why at the time.

  3. I WAS considering to add that one Victoria but felt, at the last minute, that the article would be dragging along perhaps too much if I did. Would you believe I actually located a couple of publicly available pictures on the internet from that episode as well to highlight that piece? Maybe I will go back and add that one in as it was very mind-altering for me as an episode as well!

  4. I have that episode on VHS somewhere and am going to have to go dig it out. The other impression it made on me was how different Spock and McCoy, and McCoy's nurse treated Kirk as a woman. And that mind meld Spock had with Janice/James... I wonder how much Spock could sense in the change in her emotions.

    And now, as I recall the episode again, it seemed so beautiful how the transference to Janice seemed to bring out a much more attractive and empathetic Kirk and release all the demons at play in Janice's troubled soul.

    Oh! And how the other doctor or male assistant of Janice's seemed still attracted and in love with Janice after the transference to being Kirk. I could see where exploring that strange new world and civilization would expand the entry to possibly way too long to handle!


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