Life is a Journey - Make sure you get the right roadmap to the universe

I'm quite sure I picked up the wrong one on my way out the door....

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Birthday Wishes

This blog entry is a bit different from most in that I wanted to capture a few of my more memorable birthday moments from successfully completing a ride on this planet for yet another year.  That in itself may not be much of an accomplishment but perhaps more so, the lessons learned, the friendships made and the lives touched in that past year have been very memorable

I've been getting involved with PFLAG, which is an organization which works as a group to assist those who identify as GLBT and those parents and family members of those so gifted.  Many new friendships have been made and opportunities to assist in the community have been unlocked.  This next year will be even more exciting, I feel, as a direct result!  I'm also finding ways to connect at the political level and in assisting with increasing visibility towards providing equal protection and rights under the law in New Hampshire for those who do identify as transgender.  Hopefully we can bring about some positive education and positive changes as a result of these efforts at the state level!

In celebration of my birthday, my darling spouse entreated me to do something with the bananas on our counter which were well on their way into turning into a science experiment for new lifeforms.  Fortunately, a quick search on google combined this un-a-peeling impending biological disaster with the task set forth of generating birthday goodies in the form of a banana cake!

            Homemade Banana Cake with Vanila Cream Frosting

A couple of days later, J and I had our usual GNO.  it was one of those evenings where I found a skirt that I wanted to wear, then tried to reverse engineer some kind of purple themed outfit to deck this ensemble out in.  J helped out as we both tore the closet apart and scattered clothes all over the bed in the process.   In the end, I think we came up with a cool outfit that really worked in our opinions!

We shot a few pics after getting back from out outing, as seen below.  The makeup did hold up as did both of us..... well.... as good as can be expected for 1:00am.  J set up the camera and I did the honors for posterity.....


This last one above was an interesting pose.   We both had a good chuckle over it.
I'm calling it "Pose #642 - Slightly Smug with a Side of B**ch"

"Yeah.... I'm 3 Years Old... You Got a Problem with That?"

Thanks to the wonderful friends at our local restaurant (that includes everyone including our wonderful waitress/bartender with personality extraordinaire who brought me this low-calorie tribute to my turning three years old).

Lots of love to my darling spouse who has been right there with me through all the ups and downs we have shared in life and who really has helped me realize all of who I am.  It has been a growing experience for the two of us... one with good days and some bad... with highs and lows emotionally.  Our secret has been in our open communication and our listening to each other and in both of us giving to the other without always taking.  Being transgender can make all of this a challenge and it would be very easy for me to continue to take without taking thought to giving back.  Hopefully I'm doing a good job balancing it all and those who try to manage two identities and two worlds will know full well how hard this can be.  But it is all worth it when you are married to the one person who makes you feel complete.

I look forward to another year and the experiences and friendships to be had.

Hugs to All!


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Assumption and Prejudice

An online conversation I had recently with a good friend shed some light on a broader topic that has bothered me for some time regarding human nature.  It regards prejudices and assumptions made without knowing all of the facts.  It regards the idea  that so many will make a judgment with a false or only partially understood premise.  Decisions made by others who do not have full and clear understanding can have serious implications and impacts on those for whom these decisions apply.

The idea for writing about this began with a simple conversation I was having with a friend online.  We were chatting about a vacation I had just returned from on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.  The Outer Banks are a popular island chain situated on the east coast of North Carolina.  My friend remarked in one of her comments that she was glad I had a good time but that she had visited the city of Charlotte at some point in the past and that there were "too many bugs there and that our location was not her cup of tea".

What struck me about this statement was that Charlotte is a city, located 377 miles drive inland and away from the coast where we stayed.  The statement eluded to the fact that a determination was made about a place by an experience held in a totally different geographic realm.  The only thing they shared in reality was the fact that they were both within the invisible dotted line boundaries of the same state.

It was a blanket statement, one which we see often made to and against others.  Harmless as this comment was, it outlined for me, in my mind, how we as humans will often group things in a bucket without first understanding what unique entities make up the contents of that bucket.  Such stereotyping occurs at both microscopic levels as well as macroscopic levels.  Something as seemingly trite as blanket generalizing blindly about a place has larger implications in how we generalize about race, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

Saying something to the effect blindly to the effect that one would not visit the outer banks because a city nearly 400 miles away they once visited had too many bugs is akin to saying, "I have seen the Bronx in New York, so I know what Niagara Falls must be like".

In a similar vein, so many in this world are quick to assume they know what a transgender person is, or how a gay or lesbian person must live their personal life.  Fear sets in as people make unknowing assumptions about what they feel the truth must be and, as a result, this fear drives a wedge into our fight for equality as simply human beings.   We lose our identity as humans, like everyone else, who have dreams and aspirations to live our lives in much the same ways and to similarly high standards as others.  In effect, we become "objectified" as others to be afraid of.... to have fingers pointed at us in disgust..... and to be ostracized as a result.

Breaking this most base level of human nature is a difficult and never-ending battle.  it requires constant positive energy to fight the preconceptions and fears which are held deeply.  Even if we are unable for others to come to accept who we are, it is our inalienable right as human beings who share this planet with our fellow humans, to be able to live our lives with dignity and respect for who we are.

Take each day as the challenge to help enlighten another... to go out in the world and make a positive impression such that when you walk away, it leaves a person who may have held a negative long-standing assumption and judgment with, perhaps, a change of heart, and just a little bit more understanding than before.

Change happens one person at a time.  Be the progenitor of those changes and dwell in the possibilities of what can yet be by helping others, one at a time, to begin in truth to see.