The Woman Within

I seem to have entered what I term as the "Androgynous Zone".  I am not sure how I arrived here, but here I stand.  I am perched on a precipice that allows me to look down either side of the chasm into the male or female worlds.  I am balanced at this point or am I?  My perceptions of this realm I believe I am in are challenged by the world around me. I recently showed my picture on my license to someone who remarked, "How do you get away with using that picture of you?  It looks nothing like you" A friend I had not seen in a year remarked how soft my skin has become and how translucent it now seems to be. I look in the mirror and I see the same person I have always seen.  Someone takes a picture of me in my guy mode and I freak out with what stares back to me in photos.  I race to look at my old pictures and they are not the same person. A walk on the street yields many numbers of low breathy remarks wondering what box I exist in. ...

Remembering our friend Stephanie Forbes, whose life was cut short all too short in an instant.  Her stress from being outed by everyone and estranged by all in her family left her feeling as if those who loved her only did so conditionally.  It left her without a job and a family and it left her very, very alone.  I miss her very much but take heart that she had made some wonderful friends in the transgender community.  She especially said that she looked towards my spouse and to me with great respect, admiration and love for the hope that we brought to her.  Her life will live on through our wonderful memories of times shared together both virtually and when we met.  Her profile and pictures live on and it feels like only yesterday that we said our last goodbyes. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000422449048