The Woman Within

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The Penultimate Post

It has been a while since I have blogged on here.... a long while.  The gaps between my blog posts have slowly widened as I have begun to find myself, more and more, just simply living my life as a woman.  The dysphoria is all but gone.  This blog was a tool, as much for those who have read it, as it was for myself.  I was able to make sense of my life and this journey, as much as anyone might hope, through the self reflection engendered in the process of writing out my thoughts.  Often, I would re-read my own posts from months or years prior and see how different my perspectives have become and my thoughts have changed as I grew slowly into the person I have always been. I call this the penultimate post because it is the next to the last post I will write for this blog.  This blog is not going away, nor am I.  My transition is not ending, just as each and every one of us never end our own life's transitions, whether you be transgender or not.  What is going away is the need for
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Welcome to the Jungle

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“I love being a woman”.   How long will I continue to convince myself of this premise?   No, I love being myself.   Myself just happens to be a woman.   Let’s get it straight for the record shall we?   There, I said it.   Without argument, I do love it when I wake up in the morning with an entire essay in my head.   Swirling clouds of thoughts materialize themselves as concrete and lucid entities that are clear as day.   I love it even more when I read an article a day later and realize I am not alone in my thoughts.   That love quickly fades to a sense of realization and this is where the writing begins…… In comparison to women who have lived their lives as women from day one, I haven’t been around on the planet for all that long to share in the “amazing” experience.   No.   I’ve been able to live my life from the perspective of a woman starting at the tender age of 45 years old.   Heck, by actuary statistics, I was well beyond the half way point of my lifespan when I came out
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Dream Myself Awake

I don't usually wake up startled in the middle of the night, sit up in my bed in the stillness of a dark room and wonder why my heart is racing and my skin has broken out in a sweat.  I can't say that I could recall exactly it was that I had been dreaming of either.  I can say that it wasn't anything positive or uplifting.  Far from it.  This doesn't usually happen to me so what exactly happened? Yesterday started out like any other day in recent times.  I woke up, logged in to work and set out about my day.  At some point, I found myself with some free time and so began to pick up where I left off with items associated with my name and gender marker change.....  Another credit card company to call, another financial institution to correct some error on the new and present name I am proud owner of, another lawyer to contact about legalities that need to be synced up. Usual stuff.  Well, it seemed usual.  In all truthfulness, everything has been wearing on me, and w
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