The Woman Within

An online conversation I had recently with a good friend shed some light on a broader topic that has bothered me for some time regarding human nature.  It regards prejudices and assumptions made without knowing all of the facts.  It regards the idea  that so many will make a judgment with a false or only partially understood premise.  Decisions made by others who do not have full and clear understanding can have serious implications and impacts on those for whom these decisions apply. The idea for writing about this began with a simple conversation I was having with a friend online.  We were chatting about a vacation I had just returned from on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.  The Outer Banks are a popular island chain situated on the east coast of North Carolina.  My friend remarked in one of her comments that she was glad I had a good time but that she had visited the city of Charlotte at some point in the past and that there were "too many bugs...

News Flash:  Men as a species are endangered.... An article I just read by ABC News highlighted a topic I had heard about but had not really known much about..... Apparently, men as a whole are devolving rapidly.... "The Y chromosome, which once contained as many genes as the X chromosome, has deteriorated over time and now contains less than 80 functional genes compared to its partner, which contains more than 1,000 genes. Geneticists and evolutionary biologists determined that the Y chromosome's deterioration is due to accumulated mutations, deletions and anomalies that have nowhere to go because the chromosome doesn't swap genes with the X chromosome like every other chromosomal pair in our cells do. " Below is the link from ABC News..... http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ MensHealthNews/ story?id=8104217&page=1#.T0e8nn ngrQY

A very interesting experience beheld me on a recent Thursday Evening.  I had just finished off an hour of subjecting myself as a human voodoo doll with my electrologist.  With two and a half years invested in clearing my beard, the results were finally being seen.  It was becoming a challenge now to find fill the hour with enough hairs to remove and becoming less of a challenge to achieve a flawless finish when I went out enfemme. For someone like myself who had a very heavy beard and could easily sport a five-o-clock shadow at eleven in the morning, it was a godsend.  But it was also to be a somewhat surreal night as well.  While lying on the table that night, I spoke to my electrologist while being poked with needles.  Sudden jolts of electrical current would occasionally cause me to lose track of my train of thought but I began.... "You know", I started, "It's interesting but it seems like lately I'm not quite sure what gender people are perceiving m...

This is probably the best tool I have used to date for developing a female voice.  Best of all, it's FREE! Tutorial is below and a Google search will yield the download for GRAM or get it here: http://www.kcl.ac.uk/kis/schools/hums/music/dlw/ssr/gram50.zip http://www.genderlife.com/gram50.zip And the Tutorial Video is here.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jsAU9YppMM   Enjoy!

I've come to learn yet another facet of myself this past week.  It's been both affirming yet so very starkly frightening, altogether at once.  It is not something that anyone told me to expect nor is it something I would have suspected.   Even if I did suspect what I saw and what I have come to learn of myself, it would have been denied, like I did for much of my life;  denied, ignored and placed in a box like so many of the other piece of my life had been hidden. It was a crisp winter's day this week and the snow, brightly shining under a warming late January Sun beckoned for a bit of playtime.  I grabbed my cross country skis and headed out into the backyard to do some laps.  I was not dressed or made up as Christen, save for a set of small earrings I often wear at home in my male mode.  After a couple of laps around the yard, I stopped and decided, in the stunning sunlight and with a contrast of green trees and blue sky, that a picture was wa...

Two years ago, if you asked me as I took those first steps out the door, if that would be enough.... enough to just occasionally be allowed to present as the woman within.... I would have said.... "YES!" Two years have gone by.... and in that time of those two years, I have carefully kept close track of my own sense of being.  I've allowed myself to be myself for the first time in over 40 years of my life.  I've expressed as I feel natural and without the constraints I had unconsciously engrained into my own psyche over the years of self repression.  And with my allowing myself to be myself, I have come to shed the shyness I once had.  The panic attacks and anxiety which resembled some horrific cross between complete catatonia and a heart attack disappeared, as did the nervous cold sweats and involuntary twitches and spasms which had become a sullenly accepted facet of who I was. In expression of the feminine, I became aware, for the first time in my life, that...

Each of us has to come to the point upon which we stand in our lives in a unique way... following a unique path which is ours alone. Decisions we have made, paths we have chosen, decisions made for us by others, situations not of our control which have guided us.... guided or confined us... to walk the paths which have brought us to this exact place where no other stands. As humans we are similar in many ways, and many share similar paths, but no two are the same. In the parting mists, a self-awareness of my own place in the universe has come to unfold. It is as if, with clarity, I can see the cruise control I have been on for much of my life in chasing an ideal which was solely my own, but one contrived and built by others... parents, societal, and peer expectations. As a young child, I so wanted to fit in, that I created a goal at a young age... plans... to achieve specific positions and tangibles in life to that end. In so doing, I created a sense of uniformity and normalcy t...