The Woman Within

It's late evening and I'm home alone. Joanne is staying at her mother's house and I'm half dressed in the quiescent solitude enfemme and staring at the reflection in the mirror of the boygirl looking back at me. Half of my beard has disappeared at this point thanks to a combination of laser and electrolysis treatments. My longer fingernails and shaved arms look feminine now and my hair is growing out to longer lengths. I am thinking how I am looking forward to getting out on Saturday enfemme again but also at the lie I am living each and every day. I do it to hold together the life I have allowed to be created around me. It's the life I live based upon the expectations that others have come to expect of me. I worked to please my parents and my friends and my co-workers and my managers and my in-laws and now my wife. I've always wanted to be what everyone hoped and now has come to expect me to be. I've spent my life trying to please others and in so ...

I haven't blogged in a while. It's mostly been just the normal happenstances of life lately post Be-ALL although yesterday was a wonderful day in a number of ways. I had another session with my therapist in the afternoon. My earlier ones with her had been enHomme as I would see her and then head over to my electrologist for some clean-up. This time however, I did see her enfemme for the first time. Nothing extraordinary, just some jeans, a casual blouse and my very comfortable sketchers for shoes. She seemed quite pleasantly surprised and indisputably in something of a bit of sensory overload taking this all in. I owe this to the variance in presentation between my gorilla presentation prior to electro in male mode and my "cleaned up" self. The session was good and she seemed to note continually over the course of our discussion how naturally feminine my behavioral mannerisms were. To this I simply noted that I was not cognizant of my actively attempting any such beha...