The Woman Within

There's still a lot wrong with our greater society when transgender women are viewed as having been "men". Watch this video and then read on. https://www.facebook.com/44blueproductions/videos/1131639380221311/?pnref=story As friend of mine pointed out, the woman in the stripes was in disbelief of these beautiful women (as she stated), that they "were" at one time "guys". The problem here is that the general public still views trans women as having "changed" their identity.....that they were once guys and now they are wo men. Sorry, it doesn't work like that. Transgender women were always women but the ideology is lost because it's not "graspable" tangibly by the greater masses of our cis-gender population. Those who are not able to experience first hand what it is to be transgender can not understand the gravity of the error being made when they say that a transgender woman "was a guy". For most if...

In a few short hours, I will have completed a journey of life that has taken me 51 times around our nearest star. Although we as humans mark this journey at the visceral level by the delimiter of time, it is much more a celebration of life itself and all it entails. For me it has been:    51 years of sunrises and joys and 51 years of sunsets and sadness; of those who have walked into my life and of those who are no longer with me on this world, relegated now to the cavernous vaults of my memories. 51 years of learning and discovering; with each year bringing more understanding and at the same time, an even greater realization of what is yet to be understood.   51 years of friendships made. 51 Years of people who have walked with me in my life. Some have walked but a mile and many have marched miles more; yet each person who has walked with me has imparted me with gifts that shall ever be a part of my being.   But what of ...

The following is a presentation I gave at our local Baptist Church on Tuesday, May 10, 2016.  This was read to our church community group which meets regularly together.  It was emotionally moving to some and informative to all.  Where ignorance is removed and replaced with knowledge, hatred can not so easily take root.  Special Thanks to Kelly Lepley, an extraordinary woman who graciously provided some inspirational passages which became part of this presentation.  -Enjoy ******************* I’ve had the opportunity to stand before the entire house of representatives at our State House.   I’ve stood up before 350 students and faculty to speak and to share.   I’ve had WMUR and WBIN television stand before me with cameras rolling as I shared with them.   But in all honesty, these were trivial in comparison to what I feel in sharing this with you all tonight.   Perhaps it is my fear of the one thing happening, that thing we are ask...

The path to glory is paved in humility. The path to enlightenment is strewn with obstacles we must overcome. The path to truth is in accepting first that we have lied. The path ahead to me is clear. That path that had been ever shrouded in swirling mists and endless fog..... That fog has cleared and the light shines from beyond, striking my eyes with such lucid clarity of presence, with such brilliance, that it is without doubt where the path I take beckons if I stay the course of truth. The story of my life is one which, like everyone's, started the moment I was born.  For some, like myself, the journey was one that I forced to fit the mold that everyone else set forth for me to fill.  Truth be told, I did this for so many years....so many decades.  To live one's life as others would see and wish you to is to suffocate in a sea of expectations and an ocean of despair and depression. My sojourn in life has taken me on a path unlike one I would ever have ex...

Some of my estrogen patches have been remarkably devoid of their adhesive, sticking to my skin more like children's colorforms than as anything useful. I noted the lot numbers on the open packages and contacted Novartis, the manufacturer for my estrogen. I had to give my legal "Clark Kent" name and proceeded to describe the problem. After my explanation, she summarily told me that she would investigate this but that she would also have to escalate it to her manager because such a high dosage given to what they have on record of me being "male" would red flag it.  She went on to read off a standard set of disclaimers and warnings required by the FDA to be read to prospective users of Estrogen.  She started off with the indications for which estrogen might be prescribed.  All of those reasons were for biological women. The precautionary warnings included all manners of womanly issue for which this might be prescribed and for all sorts of potential side effect...

For those of you who may not have seen it yet, the recently released movie, "The Danish Girl" has stirred quite a few emotions and many comparatives to not only my own life as a transgender woman, but to many others like myself as well.  Although this movie was based upon a true story and took place in the 1920's, the commonalities of experiences between the main character and my own personal experiences resounds so closely and so similarly that it was emotionally unnerving to watch and to see what was almost like my own life flashing before me on the silver screen. If you need to catch up and haven't heard of this movie then watch this trailer before reading further.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d88APYIGkjk A friend remarked in a post that watching "The Danish Girl" was like looking in a mirror. It truly was, at least for me, a nearly spot on reflection of my own life. The timelines and the details may have been slightly different but the o...

Every child in town seemed to like me a lot... But the person who lived inside my head did NOT! I hated myself inside and it felt like such treason Now, please don't ask why. I didn’t quite yet know the reason. It could be my head wasn't screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that I always felt fright. But I think that the most likely reason to be May have been that I was a woman inside you see. Whatever the reason, my heart or my soul I rued each day that I was not truly made whole, Looking inside myself with that virtual frown, I felt incomplete and that just brought me down While everyone I knew seemed happier all around I felt every other person was simply bequeathed With a blissful congruity of their gender beneath As they lived their lives plainly without being sheathed “And they seem so happy!” I muttered in a way no one could hear “I’m becoming a man in not many years!” Then I thought in my head, my thoughts were just...