The Woman Within

The Girl I Never Knew -Christen B It was years long ago Perhaps when about age five Someone who I knew I truly was First knew that she was alive Others thought she was a girl It was her curly hair they would say The comments she remembered well Visions of an earlier day Through the early years of school She had friends with whom she would play It was always with all of the girls With whom she confided in each day Her best friend was the little girl Who visited from across the street Imaginative games were our world Our worlds combined were complete And as time and life wore on Our worlds began to be torn away Aspects of the world I had been living in Were taken from me each day The girls in school left me alone The girl next door, she stopped seeing me too They were becoming more as women I was alone and felt nothing I could do The toys of my sister’s They were one by one taken away Each was replaced with another That I was told I would enjoy a...

In 2007 we decided to move to New Hampshire and to find a house in the country. I had had enough of the social stresses and of having to play the male role I had to force upon myself daily in life and at work. It had been my self imposed responsibility and duty to play someone I was not. The woman inside me praised my ability to play this role by doling out anxieties and frail nerves to the point I could not exist to play the part any longer. We had visited Alaska twice in the years prior and I had fallen in love with the grandeur and splendor of the wilderness and of the solitude that was offered in abundance there. I had considered to move there and was speculating real estate outside of Fairbanks. But in reality, I knew this would not be realistic with both our families and for our jobs. We then turned our eyes back to New England and searched in New Hampshire, looking in the far northern reaches of the state. Joanne and I found a beautiful Log Home in Colebrook on 16 acres and hi...