The Woman Within

I'm sure there are days in everyone's life when they begin to wonder what difference they are making in the greater world.  It's the type of thoughts that give rise to the wonder of whether or not they make a meaningful difference in the world whether they are in it or not.  I guess we all have our moments where we have made that positive association and link but then there are also those long stretches where it doesn't seem to matter whether you exist or not.  I suppose it's true that folk do get caught up in their own lives and it's easy for them to sort of overlook a person, but then again, how much does one really mean if that is truly the case? I will say that I have had some amazing experiences and the chance to touch at least a few people in a positive way in my life and....even more so..... more recently within the transgender world.  A lot of folks say that my writings have meant something to them.  I do get comments from time to time attesting so....

This isn’t just a story about a bike.   It’s not just a story about what I did today.   It is a story that is all of ours, yet at the same time it is also a story that is uniquely my own....and with special consideration to the inspirations of Robert Frost. Today is the day before the day of my birth.   It’s the day before the day I began an independent journey of what would be called my life.   Today was a warm and sunny day and it was a day for me to explore, to think, to reminisce and a day to think about tomorrow and the days ahead. My spouse, Joanne, was dealing with a painful backache and so my day today, on this Sunday, was free for me to do as desired.   Deciding on a bike ride, I quickly changed into my bike tights and top, donned my helmet, and extracted my bike of choice from it’s perch on our Barn’s wooden walls. On this day the bike of chose was my steadfast and trustworthy 12 speed touring bike.   I thought it appropriate o...

 "Japan is seeing an explosion in sales of male beauty products and the spread of male cross-dressing." We are witnessing a shift and change in the ideology of the world as we continue to break down societally pre-conceived concepts of gender expression. Society has seen, in the past 100 years, the rise of women to be able to express as men, right down to their choice of clothing if they so desire.  That's a move "up" in a patriarchal society that had always put men higher on the totem than women.  Women's suffrages and rights have come to change that. Still, society has had a difficult time with the reverse... seeing any expression of the feminine as a step downward.  Descriptives such as "girly", "effeminate", "emasculated" are often used.  Even sexual identity is often mis-labeled and such a male may be considered to suddenly be "gay" for so cross-dressing. If women can express their masculine side and work ...

What a really affirming night last night!   J was down in MA but insisted I get out yesterday evening on my own.   Although it seems unlikely, I've not headed out to a bar/restaurant on my own to date.   I know all the folks there anyway and it was amazing how very "at home" they all made me feel.   After chatting for a while, one of the guys I know there even asked if I would be comfortable on my own if he headed on home,   which I thought was very considerate.   Other women took notice after he left and with concern that J was not there and went out of their way to stop by or sit with me to chat.   I ended up cackling so much that I lost track of time to order food when the kitchen shut down.   The owner happened to be coming by and overheard my disappointment and so went down to the kitchen to whip something up for me.   Bringing dinner to me, he then proceeded to sit down for a good talk.   Ultimately it turned out to be a Girls ...

This has been an exciting past month as more people within the state, as well as nationally, are coming to learn and hear more about what it means to be transgender.   The recent case of a young Colorado girl who has been banned from using the restroom congruent to her internal gender in school is the latest case in point.   With Colorado already having laws in place protecting gender identity and accommodation based upon gender identity, this case will be setting the stage for precedent in many other states based upon final rulings made. Within the state of New Hampshire, we are seeing a lot of traction and a lot of inquisitive people who want to come to learn what it means to be gender variant.   I recently appeared on stage as part of a panel of transgender individuals at Plymouth State University.   The auditorium was packed and it was so great to be able tell our stories and to field questions from the next generation of more open minded youth who wil...

I haven't really blogged much lately and what I have written about, I've tried to keep topical and with an air of positivity. The reality is that there is so much more going on and it is hitting me from so many different angles and so many different areas in life that it is beginning to become too much for me to handle. This is isn't anything anyone else can resolve and it's not anything that therapy is going to help. This isn't anything that is going to be easier in making a choice and no easier if I do not. I don't even know where to start with any of this. So much of this started long before and so much has just been added to the pile of minutia which in totality has become a burden left for me alone and for some and other aspects for both of us to bear. The other day, I was out to do some Christmas shopping. Driving through the mountains along the nearly empty interstate highway that evening, some thoughts came to mind. I felt very comfortable and ...

It truly is an amazing thing when life’s experiences take us on a journey which starts out as tempestuous and turbulent but which ends up in an amazing place.   Even more amazing is that in the travels of our journey, we come to learn something of ourselves, and of others, and they of us.   In the end, it leaves both others and myself touched in some magical way.   This is a short tale of coming through that journey and realizing, in looking back, just how far it has come. It was a very surprising and unexpected twist to our evening recently as Joanne and I enjoyed our night out for dinner.   We learned as we were about to settle up our bill for the evening, that one of the guys at the bar had picked up our tab. This is the second time and the second guy who has done this. Understand that they know that my spouse and I are in a very committed relationship with each other and understand that the word has pretty much spread that I am not a natal woman... so the...